Scatter Brain

My thoughts feel very scattered and emotional these days. Not necessarily all bad or all good, just a combination of a lot of thoughts going through my head. Like bumper cars, you aim for a target but you're almost guaranteed to get hit by someone on the way which distracts you from your target and ultimately you wind up forgetting the first target and move to another. That many thoughts make me zone out a lot, I mean who hasn't felt that way at one point? What's even funnier to me, is when someone asks how I'm doing in these cases and I'll say good or fine or whatever and automatically that's somehow code for "I'm not ok". Every time I talk with friends about this feeling though, it seems to be the same: they're zoning out, trying to sort all the stuff in their head out, so a response like "good" or "fine", if anything, is code for "can't talk, trying to sort out my brain". And yes, sometimes it's good to chat it all out, but sometimes they're all just random thoughts; if I started talking them all out any friend would probably think I'm some crazy person and send me off to the loony farm. 


I did (on a completely different topic) just get a hiking backpack. It's new and red and seems to be the right size for my short hobbit frame =) The only downside is that I want to pack it up and go on some adventure, but can't because there's stuff I gotta do first, namely, finish up my summer working here and prepare to move out of an apartment. I know the adventures will come soon enough, but I can't wait, I just want to get out there now!

I'm continuing this post from yesterday, so it's even more scattered than writing a post in one sitting. I'm still all about the adventure, I really want to get out and go somewhere. Mostly, right now, I want that adventure to lead to seeing my family, and be around those I care about and who care about me. It's hard being there for someone when you're so far away.

My head is too many places at once right now...